Observing Triumph and Vision

Is this what envy feels like?
Words feel along the bottom
Of the narrative, like crabs

Or spies feeling for a latch.
Where’s the weakness in this shell?
Where’s its point of poverty?

It’s the robins’ turn again,
Up in the sunnier world.
Dozens are mobbing one tree

Like teenagers gathering
To be around each other,
To compete, flirt, and complain.

Is that what envy feels like?
You can be peripheral
To both the admirable

And the noisy collective.
Do you want to be the one
The safe-crackers want to break,

The one with the pearl inside?
Do you want to be just one
Among the wings in the tree,

Desperate for a better perch,
Desperate to be secure,
Consoled by community?

You’re actually not sure.
You want to be safe, not loved
At the price of safety’s peace.

You adjust your position.
If you could be, if you could
Be certain, you’d rather flee.